


No I in Team

by swallowthewhale



Series: Lemon Dreams [41]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 14:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14451090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowthewhale/pseuds/swallowthewhale
Summary: With the loss of Killer Frost and her powers, Caitlin is determined to prove her worth to the team. Cisco has something to say about it.





	No I in Team

**Author's Note:**

> For a tumblr anon.

It hits Cisco like a truck in the chest out of the blue, when he sees a weird scar on Caitlin’s arm that matches the weapon of a guy Barry had taken down that morning. He sits heavily in his chair, staring at Caitlin’s arm as she fusses over Iris’ shoulder, trying to figure out why he hadn’t noticed before. She’d been coming in with more little injuries than usual. Bruises, and strained muscles, and barely noticeable limps, but Cisco had waved it off as the loss of her super-healing, and possibly more time in the gym. He had never considered that Caitlin could be going out on her own. He’d never thought she might be trying to be a superhero without her superpowers.

After the shock wears off, the fury swamps him, igniting every nerve ending until he feels like he’s going to burst into a shouting match in the middle of the cortex. Cisco clamps his mouth shuts instead, and sneaks far enough away so he can open a breach and shout into the wind on top of his favorite ocean-view bluffs on Earth-43. They’re a much better hiding spot than the roof of Star Labs, since only one person can follow him and she hasn’t shown up in more than a month.

When he’s all screamed out, Cisco slumps against a rock, and tips his head back into the misty ocean spray. He’s got too many thoughts to sort out and not enough mental capacity. He thinks that Caitlin is being stupid, and reckless, and should know better than to go out on her own. He thinks that she’s deliberately daring fate to strike her down while it has the chance. He thinks about her, cold and pale and  _ gone _ on the cot in the med bay last year. About her broken necklace digging into his palm and the sheer emptiness of life without her. And she’s been going out, alone, to get herself killed for who knows how long.

Cisco thinks he should probably be saying all of this to her and not the curious seagull perched nearby.

“I just don’t understand,” he tells the bird, “How the smartest person I know can be such an idiot.”

The gull cocks his head and flies away. 

“I know,” Cisco says. “I’m going.”

He goes home first, because it was late already, and now it’s later. Forces himself to eat a cold burrito from the fridge, and takes a scalding shower. Then he yanks on clean clothes chosen randomly from his drawer and breaches to Caitlin’s front door.

She’s home. There’s a light under the door and the TV is on. Cisco knocks and hunches nervously while he waits.

Caitlin opens the door in yoga pants and a Star Labs sweatshirt, and smiles crookedly as she lets him in. “Did you see Barry?” she asks. “You left your phone at Star Labs.”

Cisco frowns and pats his pockets absently. “I did?”

Her eyebrows inch up. “You didn’t notice?”

“I guess,” Cisco says, moving past her to pace in front of her couch.

“Cisco,” Caitlin says slowly. “What’s wrong?”

He runs his hands through his still-damp hair, feeling significantly more frazzled than he did imagining this conversation in the shower. “Have you been going out on your own?” he blurts out, and in hindsight, that’s not as clear as it could have been.

Caitlin looks appropriately confused. “Do I need an escort?” she teases, sitting on the couch with her legs folded under her.

He shakes his head, flapping his hand at the scabs on her knuckles and the spot under her sleeve where he knows the cut is. “I mean out, out. Like fighting crime and being a hero out.”

She seems a little guilty but her face is otherwise unreadable. “I don’t have Frost anymore.”

“I meant without Frost,” Cisco snaps, finally standing still. “Without your powers, and without backup.”

Caitlin stiffens, her hands clasped tight in her lap. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“There is a big difference between defending yourself when you have to and looking for trouble!” Cisco exclaims, throwing his hands up. “That’s why we have a team, so no one’s out there alone!”

She looks away.

Cisco sighs. “Why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove?”

Caitlin shrugs, eyes still fixed across the room.

“You and Iris, both,” Cisco mutters. “We all know that you’re badasses, you don’t have to go out putting yourselves in danger for no reason to prove it.”

“It’s not for no reason,” Caitlin says suddenly and loudly. “I’m trying to help people.”

“By yourself,” Cisco says darkly. “When no one knows where you are.”

Caitlin stands. “If you’re just going to lecture me, you can leave,” she snarls.

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” Cisco shouts.

Caitlin stares at him, stunned silent.

Cisco’s breathing heavily, eyes wild and frantic. He looks like he’s about to rip his hair out. “You’re going to die,  _ again _ ,” he chokes out. “And I won’t be able to do anything about it. I’m going to have to stand there and watch you disappear, and  _ I can’t do that again. _ ”

Caitlin takes a hesitant step forward, afraid of startling him. Another step, and she reaches out to touch his cheek. “Cisco.”

Cisco drops limply into a chair.

Caitlin kneels in front of him.

“Please don’t leave me,” he whispers.

She takes his hands in hers, squeezing. “I’m not going to leave you, Cisco. Not without a fight.”

Cisco rests his forehead against hers. “Dr. Snow is so much more important and helpful to the team that Killer Frost. But Caitlin is more important to me than anything. You know that, right?”

She nods slowly and he pulls away so he can look her in the eye.

“But if going out and kicking ass is what makes you feel useful, then just promise me you’ll do it with backup?” he begs. “Please?”

“Of course,” Caitlin whispers. She clears her throat and tries to blink the tears out of her eyes. “We win and lose as a team?”

Cisco manages a watery laugh and wipes at Caitlin’s wet cheek with his thumb. “We win and lose as a team. You and me.”


End file.
